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Welcome!

To our 2006 RBG "Rubber Chicken" Promotion Page.

As part of a sales campaign for RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner, American Polywater held a contest to see which power utility sales agent was most creative in using a rubber chicken in a photo (with a caption) as a way of reminding people to sell or use the new product--and to have fun doing it!   The pictures could be funny or "intellectual," but had to somehow contain or relate to RBG Cleaner.   Enjoy these examples of rubber chickens inspiring sales growth.   Click the photos for a larger image.

	Better Late Than Never David Cooke of Utility Service Agency in North Carolina chased his elusive prey for many months, finally bringing the beast down in May of 2007.   Here we see the happy hunter shortly before learning that he'd bagged the rubber bird too late to win any prizes (this was a 2006 contest, David).   He also seemed confused by the taxidermist's reaction, but at least he gets his picture up on this stupid webpage.
	Not for Rubber Avian Consumption Brett Bruton of Utility Service Agency (left) in North Carolina made a tactical sales error during a recent sales call on PWC-Fayetteville.   PWC's Marc Tunstall (right) casually asked about RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner's toxicity, to which Brett regrettably replied, "It's so safe you could practically drink it."   (which APC definitely does not recommend)   A brief struggle for control of the bird ensued.
	Industrial Use Only, Please After wresting control of the hapless fowl from Brett, Marc Tunstall proceeded to gleefully force RBG Cleaner down its throat.   "That poor bird choked down the better part of an RBG-35LR (quart spray bottle)," Brett said, "He survived, but I had to stop later for Pampers."   The good news is that Marc seemed oddly impressed by this "demo," and may yet place an order.   Presumably, the competition's salesperson was unable to consume as much of his own product.
	Chicken Cultiatore We're not sure whether Wayne Lottmann of Utility Power Supply in New Hampshire joined the cult before or after receiving his RBG rubber chicken, but ... apparently he travels to Florida to party with a group that worships rubber chickens and the lyrics of a Jim Morris song called "Slice of the Island Life."
	Sometimes It Gets Bizarre The lyrics include these lines: "It’s just a slice of the island.   Oh baby, a slice of the island life.   Sometimes it gets bizarre.   It’s like living in a jar.   It’s like walking on the edge of a knife.   It’s a slice of the island.   Oh baby, a slice of the island life.   There’s a rumor going ‘round.   The Fish Head man’s in town.   You’d better lock up your daughter and your wife ...
	Debauch-RBG And they continue ... The policeman took the call.   It sounded like a brawl.   The old lady had gotten such a scare.   There’s a crowd of crazy people,   running through the streets,   throwing a rubber chicken in the air.   The riot squad moved in.   Then they called for extra men,   when the crowd refused to leave the road.   They said there’s nothing you can do.   This thing is bigger than you.   Learn any more and your head just might explode."
	Throwing a Rubber Chicken in the Air And sure enough ... someone throws a rubber chicken in the air.   Hmmm.   We expect Wayne's RBG sales to skyrocket soon.
	Chick Gets Lei'd in Hawaii Too bad for the perverts who inadvertently stumble across this industrial product page when they Google "Hawaiian Chicks Without Grass Skirts"   Shame on you!   This is actually a very tasteful image of Kit Chee Ma's (Carlson Sales in Hawaii) rubber chicken all dolled up in preparation for RBG sales calls on the Islands.
	Surfing Safari Matt Lacey of Martini & Associates in Pennsylvania knows that the success of every sales call can hinge on technical knowledge of the product being sold.   That's why he has his rubber chicken surf the Net at www.polywater.com/rubber.asp to read specs and FABs before selling new RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner.   Unfortunately, Matt has trouble getting his well-schooled bird to follow through with sales calls because ...
	Cleanliness Is Next To OCD Matt Lacey's rubber chicken is obsessed with cleanliness.   "Every time I try to get him into the car for a sales call, he jumps in the tub and starts scrubbing himself like crazy with RBG wipes, yelling, 'Dirty bird!   Dirty bird!   I have to admit, though, that RBG really cleans him up well ... and it's soft on his 'skin.'"
	Hang Up and Drive! Tom Howard of Dynamic Sales in Florida is so obsessed with sales efficiency, he went as far as training his rubber chickens to drive so they could make RBG sales calls all on their own.   He provided them with a mobile office.   "Our rubber chickens are completely self-sufficient ... except they need help with their seat belts."
	We'll Do Lunch A closer look at Tom's rubber chickens reveals that they sport the latest in high-tech sales tools.   That's a miniature Bluetooth he's wearing on the right!
	Mañana, Mañana! Doug Kottas of Evans-Lipka in Nebraska promises that he'll get around to selling RBG™ Rubber Goods Cleaner ... but not until after his Mexican siesta.   Yes, Doug literally took his rubber chicken on vacation to Mexico just to capture this picture of the bird relaxing poolside. "I planned to make long-distance RBG sales call from my cell phone," Doug claims, "but the phone only worked to take pictures, not make calls."   We just want to know what Customs had to say about the rubber chicken.
	Do Not Chew the Wires Mike Kennedy of Alaska Electrical Agencies says there's an old saying in their parts: "We don't give a damn how they do in the Lower 48."   This bear apparently didn't care how things are done below either.   As a result, he paid the consequences.   Mike's caption says, "Mr. Chicken told Mr. Bear not to mess around with the wires until he'd used Rubber Goods Cleaner ... bet he wishes he'd listened!
	I Vill Pump You Up! Robb Sus of the Electrical Agencies Company in Colorado pumps up RBG™ Rubber Goods Cleaner sales with his rubber chicken--and he uses compressed air to keep his rubber chicken pumped up for the task.   "It keeps my chicken looking buff," says Robb.   "I would never go on a sales call with a chicken that wasn't plump.   That's just common sense."
	Mommy, Do Chickens have Belly Buttons? Here we see Robb trying to feed even more compressed air into his rubber chicken through an alternate intake port.   Robb will need to be careful about the amount of air he forces into his birds.   He wouldn't want to accidentally sit on his rubber chicken during a sales call and create an embarrassing "whoopee cushion" effect.
	Crew Bags Rubber Chicken for Stew Pot Our unsuspecting RBG rubber chicken recently called on Bessemer Electric Service in Alabama in an attempt to introduce new RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner.   Unfortunately, the hard-working chicken was mistaken for a game bird by the Bessemer crew.   Clearly out-numbered and out-sized, our stalwart chicken stood little chance.   Here we see the poor bird moments after he was vanquished and had his RBG canister confiscated as spoils in a unique interpretation of law known locally as "Bama Huntin' Rights."   A follow-up sales call to the utility by agent Chris Ferguson of GHMR revealed that the RBG wipes work great, but the chicken was "a little bit chewy."
	Please Don't Feed the Animals Yeah, we just knew this was gonna end badly.   Despite protestations by sales rep Mike Smugala of Utility Sales Associates in Missouri, Mike Kranefuss of Benson Electric insisted on sharing a cocktail with the RBG rubber chicken at the Frost Electric Boxing Trade Show.   Mike, it's all good until ...
	Achy Breaky Neck ... someone in a drunken stupor gets their head wedged while line dancing on the table and singing country western tunes.   As he held up the RBG towelettes canister, the jovial chicken's last words before he passed out were, "Boy, am I wiped out!"
	Birth of a New Product When John Ellis of Elus Company intoduced Jeff Miller (City of Bardstown, Kentucky) to new RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner, Jeff was as excited as a new father in a hospital delivery room.   Here we see Jeff moments before he instinctively began slapping the rubber chicken's bottom to make him cough.   Jeff became distraught when the chicken didn't respond, yelling, "He won't breathe!"   John was able to calm Jeff within minutes, but has a lingering concern over whether Jeff fully realizes that RBG wipes are appropriate only for rubber goods, not diaper duty.
	Bird Reynolds? Chris Koenig with Adams RECC in West Union, Ohio wanted John Ellis to take his picture with new RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner too.   The rubber chicken, realizing that selling industrial chemicals can be a bit boring, tried to liven up the the otherwise ho-hum photo of an engineer holding line hose by laying back and simulating the famous 1972 Burt Reynolds Cosmopolitan Magazine centerfold pose.   The chicks in the office are gonna really dig this photo.   Chris might want to get a talent agent too.
	Bird Flu? When Jim Hammond of RushShelby Energy--one of John Hebeler's (of Elus Company in Cincinnati, Ohio) customers--came by the booth at the "Indiana Statewide Association of Rural Electric Cooperatives Fall Superintendents/Engineers Conference 2006," he seemed tentative with the rubber chicken there selling RBG Cleaner.   Whether it's an underlying chickephobia or a more specific concern over contracting the deadly bird flu, Jim's two-finger approach shows hesitancy toward friendship.   Luckily for Jim, RBG Cleaner, too, requires only a light touch to remove grime from rubber goods, so they'll be pals in no time.
	Friend of Nature Bryan Washburn of Miami-Cass REMC took an entirely different approach when meeting the rubber chicken at the same conference.   Here we see Bryan warmly greeting the RBG chicken with a full-on, arm-around-the-shoulder embrace.   We wanted to believe this attraction was the result of his instant affection for RBG Cleaner, but John Hebeler suggested that Bryan is rumored to treat all faux fauna similarly; he sometimes stops his car and hugs plastic deer, gnomes, and other lawn ornaments.   He even looks kind of like Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.
	Krusin' for a Bruisin' Kevin Kruse of CBM sent his rubber chicken on an RBG sales mission, but the poor bird ended up a casualty.   This is what sometimes happens when the chicken crosses the road--or tries to clean rubber goods in the middle of a highway!   Luckily his chicken was wearing a hard hat and suffered no serious injury; he's not roadkill.   Rubber chickens, after all, are very resilient and have no grey matter to squish.
	Utility Hygiene Hijinks Art Johnson and Nadeen Vincent of Associated Representatives in Utah chose to pursue the hygienic benefits of RBG in their rubber chicken depiction.   Here Art relaxes at the "Polly Water’s Chicken Ranch Nails & Day Spa" with a “J Special Pedicure" while his “chicky” gets her nails done.   Nail Tech Nadeen uses only Polywater RBG to clean rubber nails before the polish.   This is a clever way to emphasize the "cleaning" aspect of the product!
	Team Nick & Chick Here we see Nick Chintala of Elus Company in Ohio take a knee after the team of Nick & Chick scores big at Holmes-Wayne Electric Cooperative.   This dynamic sales duo works well; Nick demonstrates RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner on the line hoses and other rubber goods, while Chick bones up on the literature in the product catalog (a good idea for a boneless chicken).
	New RBG Package! Team Nick & Chick were so inspired by the rubber chicken promotion, they developed a new package with it (Nick was involved; Chick is committed)!   Introducing the all new RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner catalog #RBG-SPIT.   Talk about a creative way of integrating the rubber chicken promotion into rubber goods cleaner sales ... this photo is definitely a contender--dare we say intellectual?   Nick is lobbying APC to rename RBG cleaner, "Chicken Spit."   We've taken his request under advisement and will get back to him within a few years.   We're also considering the addition of tiny suspenders for selling this package to REA's (Rural Electric Associations).
	Wadsworth Electric in Wadsworth, Ohio Here we have a municipal utility end-user in Wadsworth, Ohio who loves RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner so much, he now carries an RBG-D72 canister and a rubber chicken with him everywhere he goes.   He's one happy fella, and he finds that RBG and the chicken always make him the center of attention.   It's always nice to see a happy customer, although we hope he eases up his grip on that poor chicken's throat.   Let's not get PETA involved in this.
	The UMUS Staff Chickens at Work The next 5 hilarious pictures from Matt Hannafin's UMUS (Upper Midwest Utility Sales) group are a series of photos to be enjoyed in sequence.   They tell a cautionary tale about goofing off in the workplace.   The captions UMUS added are a bit difficult to read on the Web.   Here's what the chickens are saying ...   Chicken on the left: "Hey, this stuff really works like a charm!"   Chicken on the right: "Great packaging too!"
	... and at Play Chicken on the left: "Hey, I'm a cow."   Chicken on the right: "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!"   (Note the blue balloon.)
	... and More Play Chicken on the right: "Hey, I'm a chicken!"   Chicken on the left: "Ha Ha Ha. So, I was a cow."   (Note the blue balloon again.)
	Rudder Cleaner? Due to a miscommunication with the Upper Midwest Staff Chickens ... Chicken on the left: "Rudder Goods Cleaner--What was Raedeke thinking?"   Chicken on the right: "Yeah, he missed the boat on this one!"   (Ron Raedeke is a member of American Polywater's Product Development Group.)
	Matt Hannafin Cries Fowl Chicken on the left: "We screw around and have a little fun."   Chicken on the right: "Yeah, then Hannafin makes us wash the car again!   The bum!"   Congratulations on a great job to Matt Hannafin and the Staff at UMUS!
	Texas Hold’em Wade LeVander, American Polywater’s Eastern Regional Manager, says “Don’t wait for the flop!   Don't allow opportunity to float on down the river.   Take some risk.   Get out there and demonstrate RBG to your electrical utility and high voltage contractor accounts and close some sales.”   Wade likes to play poker with rubber chickens because they have no arms and must play their cards face up.
	GO Twins!   GO RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner! Dave Schumacher is American Polywater’s Central Regional Manager.   Dave fervently believes that through the process of natural selection all rubber chickens are rabid Twins fans.   Dave's favorite Twins player is Nick Punto.   Just like Nick, Dave and his rubber chickens always carry their tools of the trade (RBG wipes and spray for field demos) to make sales.   Dave says “Keep your eye on the ball and concentrate your sales efforts on RBG this year.   If you do you will be successful--just like the Minnesota Twins!”
	Pirates (reps) Like Money and New Quests! Lea Moore, American Polywater’s Inside Sales Assistant, has a message for you: “Even though I am dating Johnny Depp, I still have plenty of time to answer yer questions about ARRRRRBG and send ya scurvy dogs some more samples.   Please send me your orders so I can put them in our treasure chest.”   We believe Lea's rubber chicken is supposed to be a pirate's cutlass.   You'd better make your sales calls or she'll force you to walk the plank with it--which could be embarrassing if not fatal.
	Have Rubber Chickens, Will Travel! Jeff Ericson is American Polywater’s Western Regional Manager.   Jeff adamantly believes that neither weather or terrain should deter salespeople from making RBG calls.   He states that, "My Hummer can take you and me to any jobsite, anywhere, anytime to sell RBG.   If you make the appointment, I will get there with my squadron of rubber chickens."   Jeff has a military background and is convinced that if "the troops" make RBG demo calls they will win the war against dirty rubber goods--which is probably the source of dreaded bird flu.
	Direct Your Flock Sharon Hindahl, Inside Sales Coordinator, loves to make sure that all of her rubber chickens are in line.   Pictured here is the "sales staff" gathered up in a grouping of dirty jumpers ready to be cleaned and directed back into the field to demonstrate Rubber Goods Cleaner.   Sharon says “Don’t just leave samples of RBG at your accounts; they tend to sit there forever.   Instead, demonstrate the RBG Cleaner in front of key decision makers and ask for the order!”   Yes, and use your rubber chicken somehow to pass the time during a demo while you wait the 5 minutes needed for the cleaner to soak before wiping!
	Big Game Hunter Tom Fredericks, American Polywater’s VP of Sales, says, “We want you to concentrate your big game hunting efforts this year on RBG Rubber Goods Cleaner.   When on safari, your luck will increase if you demonstrate RBG to the end user--using their dirty rubber goods.   Dirty grounds, line hose, hot line jumpers and blankets are excellent trophies once they're taken down by an RBG-35LR with a hair-trigger sprayer.   Rubber gloves are not in season because they're tested so frequently.   It’s better to mention to your customer that if rubber gloves get any petroleum product on them, use RBG-D72 wipes on them immediately to prevent swelling and a premature demise.”
	Live to Ride, Ride to Sell RBG Chris Jonnes, American Polywater’s Chief Operating Officer, is leader and sole member of the Hell's Rubber Chickens biker gang.   He wears a t-shirt that says, “If you can see my rubber chicken, the b*&#$ fell off.”   He promotes RBG everywhere he and his rubber chickens ride.   Chris claims the "chicks" just love him.   To increase awareness of RBG Cleaner he tells the same joke at every biker bar: "Why did the chicken cross the road?   To sell Rubber Goods Cleaner!"   Chris does not make many sales.
	RBG Beach Blanket Bingo Barbi isn't really an American Polywater employee, but Wade and Jeff wish she were.   "She's hot!"   Barbi likes to rub RBG on rubber goods more than she likes to rub suntan lotion on her rubber chicken's back (when Ken is out of town, of course).   You can party on the beach like Barbie after you go out and clean up your electrical utility service center’s line hose, sleeves, blankets, grounds and cover-ups.   Once they’re clean, ask for an order and then retire to the beach.

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